Blargle

Thanks again to anyone who's had to put up with my emo-esque whining today. I'm not quite sure what set me off, but I'm still sort of down today. At least the weather is mirroring my mood (though the thunder-and-lightning is exciting).

Things I learned about myself today:

1. I'm more jaded about certain things than I realized
2. I am incapable of reading women, as far as I can tell
3. The following is likely my best option (in the words of a friend) with regard to #2 above: "wait for 10years from now when all the girls you're into now all of a sudden realize that dating ass holes doesn't make them happy and then they'll be lined up for you?"

Sigh...back to another wholly unproductive weekend (other than starting/catching up on Questionable Content, which may account for some of the mood I'm in.)

Horrible-Product is right...

This quote from Tommy Boy neatly summarizes my opinion on and experience with Hewlett Packard:
"The reason they have a guarantee on the box is because they know all they sold you is a guaranteed piece of shit. Hell, I can take a crap in a box and slap a guarantee on it for you, if that’s what you want. But then all you have is a guaranteed piece of shit!"

I guess this is their idea of a joke?

It's not just me, either.

A brief musing on the eve of destruction.

Destruction, of course, taking the form of the Heat Transfer Final Exam.

"When I'm Sixty-Four" just came up on my roommate's playlist and I was reminded how much I like it. It's so pleasant to listen to and practical in nature to boot:

"When I get older losing my hair
Many years from now
Will you still be sending me a valentine
Birthday greetings, bottle of wine?
If I'd been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I'm sixty-four?

You'll be older too
And if you say the word
I could stay with you

I could be handy, mending a fuse
When your lights have gone
You can knit a sweater by the fireside
Sunday mornings go for a ride
Doing the garden, digging the weeds
Who could ask for more?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I'm sixty-four?

Every summer we can rent a cottage in the Isle of Wight
If it's not too dear
We shall scrimp and save
Grandchildren on your knee
Vera, Chuck & Dave

Send me a postcard, drop me a line
Stating point of view
Indicate precisely what you mean to say
Yours sincerely, wasting away
Give me your answer, fill in a form
Mine for evermore
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I'm sixty-four?
Ho!" --The Beatles (Various emphases mine, obviously).

The first is something of a self-advertisement and the latter is, in an ideal world, is what a someone might do to give me such confidence that I might 'make the first move' as it were.

Whatever, time to sleep so I can wake up and get reamed by a long thick reamer.

"The patient is still in critical condition..."

So my laptop is on it's deathbed, or desk. Whatever. Anyway, I ended up with some trojan earlier today and it's been all-downhill from there. Not to mention the various problems I detailed ( in-between BSOD's) to my parents:
"
1. It doesn’t boot reliably; I just had to try three times to get it to fully boot just now. It did this before I reinstalled windows at the end of the summer and it happened again afterwards
2. The motherboard battery died several months ago. This is not supposed to happen for numerous years. We’ve never had a motherboard battery die in the years of us owning a computer. This means that if I ever take my battery out and unplug my laptop (to clean out dust, for example) I also have to pull out a RAM card because the default BIOS settings are reverted to and they won’t boot if there’s a change in hardware. While the battery should be replaceable (typically they’re watch-cell type batteries, but I’m getting the feeling it’s some proprietary one), it shouts at me that there’s some underlying hardware issue that this battery died in the first place.
3. The graphics card (one of the primary reasons I lobbied for this model in the first place) has been very ‘iffy’ lately, sometimes choking up to the point of being unusable while rendering even the simplest 3D graphics. It’s also been running quite warm, idling at about 60C (my desktop-sized processor idles at 48-52C), concerning me that something is going wrong overall with the card.
4. The PC-Card (expansion slot, like the PCI slots that sound cards etc are placed in a desktop) has never worked reliably. It blatantly didn’t work with two different firewire cards that I purchased about a year ago and can be spotty with the current USB2 card I have now
5. Integrated firewire is horribly spotty. At first I thought it didn’t work at all (hence the fire-wire cards). Often I lose connection to my external storage while transferring files, potentially permanently losing the files in question.
6. Support is all but gone for this model of laptop. There have been no new driver updates in months from Dell. I’ve found very few people online who still use this model/chassis of laptop, basically eliminating community support also. My warranty is long gone anyway, leaving me with nowhere to go if something does entirely go. I’ve already sunk a few hundred dollars into this laptop (new RAM and HDD) and I don’t even know if I could get something replaced if a part breaks, and I certainly don’t want to spend a lot of money to repair something that’s frankly more outdated than I expected it would be come two years later.
7. It’s physically deteriorating: When it reads a CD or DVD in the drive, I have to squeeze down over the optical drive so the whole thing doesn’t rattle.
8. The main battery doesn’t hold a charge at all. With the laptop off, the battery went from “fully” charged to completely dead between the morning of the trip to CMU when I turned it off and packed it and when I turned it back on that evening in the room. I have my second battery but that only has 2/3 the capacity of the primary one, basically meaning I can’t take the laptop anywhere without being tethered to a wall outlet.
9. I really regret choosing this laptop. It’s huge, hot, heavy and doesn’t even run modern software that well. A better choice would have been a business-line model (like a Thinkpad or one of HP’s business line) which is built better, more rigorously tested and comes with a 3-yr warranty at the very least.
10. It’s really my fault that I pushed for a big-powerful laptop, but in my defense I had never used one before and laptops have frankly come a long way since we were shopping for this one.
11. I truly rely on it almost 24 hrs/day. I need it to get information from professors and classmates, to do homework and keep my organized. Every hour or two I spend fighting with it because it can’t boot or decides it doesn’t want to run Solidworks, or Matlab in an acceptable manner is an hour I’m not getting work done.
12. It had 2 BSOD’s (“blue screen of death”, Dad) while I typed this e-mail to you!"

I'll likely be getting one of these (HP nc8430). I'd consider a T60 but they don't have the x1600 graphics card or Core 2 Duo's yet and also are pricier (assuming you buy equivalent warrantees) than HP's which have markedly superior configurations. HP also seems to have plenty of accessories (numerous docking stations and uber-life batteries) that the Thinkpads don't seem to. I had been considering an Acer Travelmate 8200, but I've read bad things about heating problems and overall build quality. I had also thought about various Asus models, W3J and V1J. The former has some issues with the 'sleep' functionality and has questionable availability as they're revamping it mid-model year to include a Core 2. The V1J had basically everything I'd want, but it isn't available in the US yet and I need the new computer sooner rather than later.

Just figured all three of you would like an update. That is all.

Microsoft is an Asshole

Sorry Matt, but it's true.

In all it's wisdom, Microsoft just decided that the 4 year old copy of Windows XP home running on the original install from Dell on their computer at home is pirated. Why? Iono. They won't tell me, dont seem to offer to let me try to validate again.

Seriously, was it because I installed Firefox? M$ jealous of the free, superior, 5MB internet browser?

GAH!

[UPDATE:] After running like, 5 Window Genuine Advantage Validation tools, Microsoft has decided that we're worthy to run a full-fledged copy of windows, and is no longer accusing us of being theives.

And my littlest bother seems to have done something (a virus) to the other computer at home such that it IM's links to his friends via AIM (I swear I installed gaim for him to use) and blocks Windows updates. It seems to have implanted a service on the computer "System Internal AntiVirus" that I can not remove via msconfig. It claims I don't have access and should try from an Admin account. I AM the freakin' administrator, you imbecile!

Seriously, if I have to install windows again on that machine, I'm just going to take the tower to school with me where it'll be safe since it's obviously not safe in Nate's hands.

Story of my life...

"Sha la la la la la
My oh my
Look like the boy too shy
Ain't gonna kiss the girl
Sha la la la la la
Ain't that sad?
Ain't it a shame?
Too bad, he gonna miss the girl"
--Sebastian

To assuage anyone's fears, this was not triggered by any event other than me hearing the song in it's entirity for the first time in a long while (my adult life, certainly)

Just let me say...

OK, to all upper-classmen MechE's:
When I point out that "I have no time" when asked to participate in certain ASME-sponsered events, if you want to let me know I'll "be screwed next year" please let me get a word in edgewise to point out that in addition to the "standard" soph schedule I am carrying a 12-unit MSE course as well as participating in SnS and SAE and trying to hang out with friends one or two evenings in a week - outside of doing homework.
Seriously, just don't be jerks. Thank you to those who helped point out some of those things when I wasn't able to say anything.

Almost, but not quite...

Sorry for the prolonged absence of a proper post but I've been lightly killed by this finals week.
I don't think before this week I was every truely concerned about getting major things done, and in a decent manner, for all my classes.

My Calc final went fine, programming was alright. I could've gotten a 20/20 but I was really sloppy and it took me far too long to catch a stupid little mistake; long enough that I couldn't even start the last bit of the exam. What pisses me off is that I should be able to get an A in that class but a couple of stupid things are holding me down, at this point I'm praying for a B.
What made the beginning of the week all the better, aside from the two aforementioned finals were my sum total of 36 pages of lab report that were due on Wed! I wrote 12 by myself for Defects and then played a major role in the writing of a 24 page final report for Structures. We (my awesome group and myself) put sooo much time into that report. Like, seriously a couple of days in total were put in by some of us, often in Hunt basement. McHenry did comment on my 'Nice Logo' on the cover page, so that practically guarantees an 'A,' right?

I then had a 'day off' on Thursday between stuff being done and another final on Friday. Lots of studying was done. More studying was done Friday before the final at 5:30. It (Defects) went remarkably well, as far as I could tell. As I told Drew after I got back to the room after the exam, I did not experience a base, animal terror upon reading through the test that I did for the first Defects exam. I understood exactly how to do 80%+ of the exam and I think I had some decent BS for the stuff I wasn't sure about. In all fairness, I don't think anyone in the class understood how to derive the surface energy a small deviation from a low-miller-index plane in a 2-D "BCC" lattice.

And now I am brought to today, sitting in my room about 8:45ish, just having finished a slightly better than mediocre cup of Underground coffee, trying to work up the motivation to read through some of the textbook for my exam on Monday that will make or break my grade in that class. Granted, the lab report is a major part of the grade (3/8 of 25% of my final grade) but the final is 25% of my final grade for the course and I really would like a B in the course, really.; an A is out of the question, at this point I think. We had a 2:00-5:30 review session for it tonight and perhaps that is part of what has left me feeling so drained.

Campus is emptying. I was walking to the U from Mudge for dinner tonight and I got halfway there without seeing any people or cars. None. I see people heading over to the 28X to go home all the time, and all I can keep telling myself is that I'll be done in a couple of days, not hours, but days. They're going home and I'm going to a review session or going to work on a lab report. I lost a couple days of my life to that lab report and the thing is, the work just didn't end. Sure, I was done with one final, but I still had my reports and 3 other finals. Then I had another final out of the way, but I had to work on the stupid reports and study for two finals that I really need(ed) good scores on and then I finished one of them and I'm still not done! I know it's not good to get so worked up about how bad this past week+ has been (oh yea, I had 4 tests in the last 3 days of classes!), but it still doesn't make it any more fun.

And then, as per the usual, when I'm having a bad week, the whole "girlfriend/relationship" thing hits me, rather, the lack of one. Admittedly, this bout was brought upon by my learning that a girl I have been interested in, isn't looking for any kind of relationship now. What angers me is that I start questioning a couple of choices I made early on last year that have directly prevented me from pursuing other options now and in my mind if I had chosen differently I'd be a lot better off now. That's quite possibly not the case, but it doesn't make thinking it any less painful.
Call me old-fashioned but I just want a 'steady girlfriend', preferably geeky. Is that too much to ask? Or would it be too much to ask for my lack of one to stop bothering me so much.

::sigh:: Now for some studying, I guess...

I hope you dont find him...

So, to start off...Ben, the people who moved into your house are jerks. One of their dogs has attacked Max two times now. No physical harm done, but how'd anyone like being jumped by someone literally twice their size?

Anyway...this is not the happy post of the evening. That will come next with picture from Maine and happy thoughts.

To clarify what follows: it's not that anyone did anything in the past few days or anything that's set me off...this is sorta me thinking, the past few days, about how I perceive has been going on for the past few years.

It's probably all my fault, actually. I was really stand-offish at High School. I think most people never really got to know me, or got a really inaccurate impression of me.

I've come to the realization that summer's not going to last much longer, and a lot of my friends from HS will leave without me seeing them more than once, in brief. Now, I'm not really complaining that I'm feeling lonely and ignored (because I've been busy and having a good time, regardless) but I am feeling ignored. And it's not just this summer; through most of HS I felt like an outsider, someone who tagged along that noone minded but wouldn't really be missed. There're lots of people who act really excited to see me, but after a quick exchange of where we are(school/work wise) and whatnot, there's nothing but a mildly awkward silence. I may be wrong, they may, in fact, be really glad to see me and there just happen to be lots of awkward pauses. I'm just explaining how it seems to me.

In my head it seemed like it would be a lot more rant-like and much longer; but I have said what I felt like getting off my chest.

The happy/pretty post shall follow shortly.

I did in fact...

have a happy birthday. Thanks, all of you who wished me one.

I'm predicting a slow day at work; It's almost 9:00 and only myself and one of the VP's is here. Granted, that's 20% of the company and I know Ernie'll be in around 10, but still. This whole past week has been slow. Most exciting thing I did yesterday was vastly improve my Powerpoint Animation/Layout skillz. Stan, the president, has Sarah (Miles' daughter) and myself recreating a presentation he used to make with glass and then 35mm slides in powerpoint, taking advantage of animation and whatnot. Unfortunately, he hasn't really given us any direction beyond two specific slides. But those two slides are damn good! We've spent a combined total of over an hour, I think, working on them.
Next week should be much better, Tricia (the engineer who I most closely work with) and Kevin (production/manufacturing manager) will both be back on monday, meaning that things'll actually get done. Kevin did want me to work on inventorying the molds this week, but I've forgotten/not really felt like it. Eh, I'll just blame it on Ernie if Kevin complains.
Work is nice though, it's like my CMU away from CMU. Here's an example:
On Wed. (day after my B-day) they had a cake for me, and when Stan asked what kind it was Harvey replied "Composite" because it was a marble cake. They're nerdy enough here that everyone thought that was brilliant. I also spent several minutes determining how they had encoded my age in candles. I originally went with color-based, but apparently it was some location-based encryption. I still don't get how, but the cake was good regardless.
I do wonder, sometimes, if there's something wrong with me. I mean, I got bluetooth mouse for my birthday and I was positively giddy that I was gunning down Battle Droids wirelessly shortly following syncing my PDA with my laptop while it was still in my pocket.
Most people at home don't appreciate my nerdiness. Even Ben, the CS and Math double major gets disgusted by my nerdiness sometimes. Oh well.
I'm actually really looking forward to next year at CMU: Classes should be really awesome, I'll be surrounded by people at least as geeky as me and I will not be getting up after 6 every morning (that's when I need to get up now, what with my 1+ hr commute). Heck, I'll be able to wake up at 9 every morning and make it to class, even though Mudge is further from everything (and I think I have a class all the way over in Scaife) than 'schlag.
Speaking of geeky, I've become somewhat of the on-site IT person around here, mostly because I'm about 1/2 the age of any of the regular employees. I also got to shop around online for a laptop for the engineering VP, it was awesome getting paid for something I'd do in my spare time anyway. In some ways it's more fun when you're given a max pricetag. I'm apparently the most qualified person around here to install USB devices as well; apparently the other engineers here arn't. I've installed two wireless mice and a laserjet printer as well as install/remove a ZIP250 ATA drive since I've gotten here.
In my adventures in IT I discovered something very odd: I'm beginning to suspect that some IBM workstations store their OS on a PS/2 mouse. I was installing a new wireless USB mouse the other day on the receptionists' computer and the thing shut down when I unplugged the PS/2 port. I shrugged, convinced I hadn't hit any power buttons or breakers or anything and installed the USB receiver. I walked around to the keyboard and then hit the power button. The thing booted up and installed the SCSI Bios and then proceeded to inform me "No Operating system detected, please insert disk." That really freaked me out because last week something vaguely similar happened to this very computer at work that I'm e-mail blogging on right now. It booted up and claimed it needed a boot disk, then refused to do anything useful besides letting me select 'safe mode' and then rebooting again before reaching windows. Turns out the harddrive was like swiss-cheese, with the holes being good sectors a!
nd the cheese being bad ones. Anyway so I unplug the receiver and plug the old mouse back in (an ancient scroll-deviceless (no wheel or IBM-syle nub) non-optical, 3-button mouse) and the thing boots up no problem. Eh? I repeat and same issue. I ended up getting a USB->PS/2 adapter from home (I have like 9, they come with every wired USB mouse, it seems) and then running the mouse through the PS/2 port and all was fine. I mean, refuse to boot, that's fine. It's easy to figure out why when it spits out a 'Pointing device error' during startup, but to lie about having an OS? That's just wicked sketchy.