Oh, Citi. You'll wish you never heard of me...

Lets see if this gets their attention. I dropped the H-bomb and I-theft bomb.

"6-February-2011

To whom it may concern,

Please remove my address (-----St APT ----, Quakertown PA 18951) and person from your marketing database. Due to the behavior explained in the attached CoC (Comptroller of Currency) complaint (Case# 01450312) I do not wish to receive any more offers for any type of financial services from your company or subsidiaries. I have zero faith in your ability to take care of your customers privacy or respond to their complaints.

I expect written confirmation of your receipt of this message. If I do not receive it, I will assume you are consciously ignoring this complaint. I will continue to report additional offers I receive to Citi bank, using your Business Reply Mail envelopes as well as appending my CoC complaint. If my concerns continue to be ignored, I will consider your institutions actions as harassment and will elevate my complaints accordingly.

I should not have to remind you of the serious nature of identity theft. If you consciously ignore this complaint, you might be considered an accessory to the possible attempted identity theft that is described in the included CoC complaint.

Not amused,

Alexander Belton"

Wherein I Crack Open my Law Books for the Second Time this Summer...

So I've had my land-line phone number since the end of May, 2008. This is, last I checked, at least one year ago. Practically ever since I moved in, I've been getting various phone calls for the people who were, presumably, the last people to have this phone number.

I've informed their bank and various friends and relatives of these people. I've even changed my answering machine greeting to inform people of their error.

However, I have, and continue to receive phone calls regarding "important business issues" AKA collections for the family. Many of which have used some kind of text-to-speech software, occasionally with a British accent that appears incapable of pronouncing the name 'Ralph', but that's beside the point.

Often the call is just instructions to call them back including an absurdly long case number. Sometimes I am given an option to pretend I'm "R a l p h" and speak to a live person. This has happened...at least three times that I've gotten through to an operator and informed them of the situation.

The first time the operator claimed that my number was the one that the family was still reporting as theirs. The second time, the operator got very defensive and claimed I hadn't talked to that particular company before. Clearly I'm supposed to be able to tell the difference between apparently inept collection companies when they never identify themselves.

In both these cases I insist that I speak to a supervisor/manager. The first two operators refused and insist that I explain myself. Then, today, I got another call and pretended to be Ralph. I spoke to an operator and told him repeatedly that I need to speak to the manager. He informed me that I would be dumped into a voicemail box and I'd get a response within 24-48 hours. I explained who I was, stated my phone number, called them ... ahem ... freaking incompetent then dropped the 'H' word. I said I considered it harassment.

I'm not expecting any reply. I'm also not expecting the calls to stop.

The question is, what are my next steps? This website suggests I should get their info next time and report them to the BBB. That sounds like a good plan, but anything more humiliating would be preferred. Mostly what offends me is that someone pays them to provide a collections service, and they're clearly incapable of finding the people they're trying to collect money from.

Really, I just want them to apologize and admit they're clueless and incompetent.