Almost, but not quite...

Sorry for the prolonged absence of a proper post but I've been lightly killed by this finals week.
I don't think before this week I was every truely concerned about getting major things done, and in a decent manner, for all my classes.

My Calc final went fine, programming was alright. I could've gotten a 20/20 but I was really sloppy and it took me far too long to catch a stupid little mistake; long enough that I couldn't even start the last bit of the exam. What pisses me off is that I should be able to get an A in that class but a couple of stupid things are holding me down, at this point I'm praying for a B.
What made the beginning of the week all the better, aside from the two aforementioned finals were my sum total of 36 pages of lab report that were due on Wed! I wrote 12 by myself for Defects and then played a major role in the writing of a 24 page final report for Structures. We (my awesome group and myself) put sooo much time into that report. Like, seriously a couple of days in total were put in by some of us, often in Hunt basement. McHenry did comment on my 'Nice Logo' on the cover page, so that practically guarantees an 'A,' right?

I then had a 'day off' on Thursday between stuff being done and another final on Friday. Lots of studying was done. More studying was done Friday before the final at 5:30. It (Defects) went remarkably well, as far as I could tell. As I told Drew after I got back to the room after the exam, I did not experience a base, animal terror upon reading through the test that I did for the first Defects exam. I understood exactly how to do 80%+ of the exam and I think I had some decent BS for the stuff I wasn't sure about. In all fairness, I don't think anyone in the class understood how to derive the surface energy a small deviation from a low-miller-index plane in a 2-D "BCC" lattice.

And now I am brought to today, sitting in my room about 8:45ish, just having finished a slightly better than mediocre cup of Underground coffee, trying to work up the motivation to read through some of the textbook for my exam on Monday that will make or break my grade in that class. Granted, the lab report is a major part of the grade (3/8 of 25% of my final grade) but the final is 25% of my final grade for the course and I really would like a B in the course, really.; an A is out of the question, at this point I think. We had a 2:00-5:30 review session for it tonight and perhaps that is part of what has left me feeling so drained.

Campus is emptying. I was walking to the U from Mudge for dinner tonight and I got halfway there without seeing any people or cars. None. I see people heading over to the 28X to go home all the time, and all I can keep telling myself is that I'll be done in a couple of days, not hours, but days. They're going home and I'm going to a review session or going to work on a lab report. I lost a couple days of my life to that lab report and the thing is, the work just didn't end. Sure, I was done with one final, but I still had my reports and 3 other finals. Then I had another final out of the way, but I had to work on the stupid reports and study for two finals that I really need(ed) good scores on and then I finished one of them and I'm still not done! I know it's not good to get so worked up about how bad this past week+ has been (oh yea, I had 4 tests in the last 3 days of classes!), but it still doesn't make it any more fun.

And then, as per the usual, when I'm having a bad week, the whole "girlfriend/relationship" thing hits me, rather, the lack of one. Admittedly, this bout was brought upon by my learning that a girl I have been interested in, isn't looking for any kind of relationship now. What angers me is that I start questioning a couple of choices I made early on last year that have directly prevented me from pursuing other options now and in my mind if I had chosen differently I'd be a lot better off now. That's quite possibly not the case, but it doesn't make thinking it any less painful.
Call me old-fashioned but I just want a 'steady girlfriend', preferably geeky. Is that too much to ask? Or would it be too much to ask for my lack of one to stop bothering me so much.

::sigh:: Now for some studying, I guess...