I hate being confused...

I'm having a generally bad day today. Why? I don't really know. I'm feeling lonely even though I was out partying with cool people last night. Granted, that's not something I'd normally do or even try to do given the option. It's not like I havn't been social the past few days; I have, and that's why I'm so confused. I'm in a bad mood and I'm not really sure why.

I got out of bed, took a shower and headed over to Shatz for Carpenty Brunch with Drew, Theresa and Rob. I got there shortly after noon and none of them were there. That surprised me as Drew is pretty OCD about being places on time. Turns out that it was 12:30 he said we should meet. Oh well. Rob didn't make it; I wonder if he hadn't fully recovered from the partying. Speaking of partying, my perceptions of two people were fairly drastically altered last night. It's weird, you have a certain way you think of someone, and then you find out that you were pretty wrong, in some cases, about that person. Weird.
The carpentry brunch/meeting was otherwise enjoyable. Drew and Theresa certainly can keep things entertaining. We'll have a Dungeon Day(R) tomorrow to help get the dungeon into a usable condition.

After that I headed back to 'Schlag and I guess that's about when my troubles started. I was bored and didn't feel like doing anything. Tim was back briefly between this morning's rehearsal for Greek Sing (more on that in a moment) and Greek Sing itself this afternoon. For whatever reason, I didn't want to talk to him. Not that we had much reason to talk anyway, but I would have tried to avoid talking anyway. Perhaps it's that I'm feeling anti-social and lonely at the same time.

Eventually I head down to Soldiers and Sailors for Greek Sing. As I got near, I noticed there was some large police gathering down near the Pitt student union. Turns out there was some big anti-war/Iraq/Iran whatever/demonstration going on. Across the street from that there was one guy wearing a 'Thanks US Servicemen + women" sign. I got to Greek Sing a bit after 5. It wasn't supposed to start till 6. I looked around for anyone I recognized, I saw Julie, Marshall, Zach etc over at house-left of the balcony and I headed over. Turns out there weren't any open seats around them. Oh well, I sat by myself, and I figured I'd end up doing. I found out later that Michelle and Grace went to Greek Sing too...too bad I didn't know that at the time. I guess that bothered me a bit. I all-too-often go to performances all alone, I guess I hoped that would change at some point. Part of it is that I'm used to going movies all the time with Ben, Adina, and Ari. I really miss you guys and that whole 'togetherness' thing that we had going.

Greek Sing, frankly, was underwhelming. I was expecting a cut well above HS theater considering these are all smart, dedicated college kids who spend lots of time preparing for it. With the exception of Delta Delta Delta, practically none of the singing was intelligible because it was all out of sync. I feel like too much time might have been spent on choreography and not enough on singing.

I came out of Greek Sing in a worse mood than when I went in. I saw people I knew as I was leaving and they said 'hi' but I was sort of hoping someone would ask me to come to dinner or something other than just smiling and waving. Is that unreasonable? Maybe, but it didn't help my mood, regardless. It rained while I was walking back. I grabbed dinner from the U and ended up back here.

I guess I'm feeling sorta like this, except lacking the religious overtones. The sucky thing is, this sorta crops up whenever I have some free time/not being stressed. As of now, I can't really wait for class to start up again on monday, just so I'm busy and therefore feel better. It makes it much harder to enjoy my limited free time here. Curses. I don't really know what to do; I try, but I only seem to end up pushing people away, which doesn't help, obviously.

On a note of much happiness: Sharon's going to Finals!! It was really cool, I was sitting in the U waiting for my food to come and Nick (little bother) called from Duxbury to let me know they were moving on! That really brightened my day, at least temporarily. It still managed to remind me of how much I miss the comraderie of being in festival and the winning and the not being so stressed. Arg, I've managed to turn a happy moment into a sad one.

Perhaps it'd be best if I ended this post. I think I'll watch a movie and do laundry.

[EDIT (1:43am):] Oh, right, I forgot: On the way to Greek Sing, I saw some anti-war protestors who were wearing bandanas and obviously somewhat fancied themselves to be modern day anti-war protestors in the spirit of hippies, sitting outside a starbucks on Forbes. I wish I had a camera, it was priceless.
And Life Aquatic is an awesome movie. That is all.